The Occasional Solipsist

So tonight Superwife and the baby and I, firmly ensconced on the couch with our popcorn, watched the last episode of Star Trek likely to grace television screens for the conceivable future.

Actually, the series finale for Star Trek: Enterprise was aired first on Friday night, but I opted to watch it tonight as it was shown on Space.

In what the producer's of the show called a 'valentine for the fans', this final episode had Riker and Troi visiting key moments of the NX-01's final mission in an effort to help Riker make a decision about how to handle an ethical conflict.

I thought the episode was fantastic. Particularly since TNG has always been my favourite Trek series - with Enterprise a very close second. And it was a very nice tie-in to the TNG season 7 episode 'The Pegasus', which, if I were to make one, would be on my top 5 list for that show.

I found the ep reminiscent of Babylon 5's season 4 ender, 'The Deconstruction of Falling Stars', in which various figures from three different periods in the future examined the impact B5 had on history.

It was a cool idea then and it was a cool idea now.

But the final ending was the best part. A montage of the Enterprises is shown, and as each ship appears, the part of the opening narrative corresponding to each ship's show is heard. First, Picard, then Kirk, and finally Archer, as the NX-01 sails into the distance.

I probably can't explain how sad the ending of this show makes me, and if you're not a fan, you're probably shaking your head and thinking I'm totally fucking looney tunes. But Star Trek has always been there for me, and there are some reasons in particular I'm feeling so low about things:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture was the first movie my Mom took me to when I was just 4, and I've been hooked ever since.

And when I lived with my Dad and was living under the combined tyranny of him and my abusive asshole of a step-mother, I spent a lot of time holed up in my room watching a tiny black and white tv and hoping they'd just go away. I still remember watching 'Encounter at Far Point' after a particularly nasty encounter and just losing myself in it completely.

And later on, when I had to quit high school so I could take a few extra hours at the gas station I worked at just to make rent, what do you think I watched in my shitty bachelor apartment? You betcha. Tapes of old Trek, because I couldn't even afford cable.

Not that I would've rather watched anything else.

And the biggest reason I hung onto this show is that it began airing the fall after Jon died. Our love of Trek was one of the cool things he and I had in common that nobody else did. Jon loved Star Trek almost as much as I do. He and I had pretty much memorized the dialogue for the first 6 movies, and could quote on cue while watching any of them. And with each new movie that was released, he and I would be there opening night, junkies ready for a fix.

In fact, many times watching Enterprise, I found myself wondering what he would've thought, if it would've been another of the things he and I would have enjoyed together.

I know it would have been.

So after the show was over, I waited until Superwife went up to bed before I had a little cry.

Maybe for Trek, maybe a little for myself, but I think mostly for things ending.

Fuck I miss that guy.

But I guess its also bittersweet that I have the final episode of the Star Wars legacy to look forward to. Because in only a few short days, I'll have seen that, and then that will be over for me too.

sigh.

Guess I'll just have to shell out a few bucks and buy myself the new Enterprise DVD sets. I mean, how else can my baby get to grow up watching Star Trek, as I did, if he/she can't count on Dad to come through, right?

Labels: star trek