The Occasional Solipsist

This entry is going to be filed under my brand new category 'the rapture must be coming'.

I am a regular fan of G4TV and a few of its shows, most notably X-Play, and The Screen Savers (now Attack of the Show). I even posted the other night using 'The Feed' format from AOTS.

And it is now clear that Attack of the Show has broken a historical new low, even for cable television.

First of all, what qualifies me to make this kind of judgment:

• I'm regularly on IGN.com.


• I read Joystiq every day.


• I play videogames (PC/ PS2) whenever I get the chance (though now that usually means squeezing my gaming in between Trinity's last feeding and the 1:00 am repeat of Enterprise).


• I have applied for a job at the local game design studio enough times to guarantee I will never get an interview.


• I once spent three days in a row without shaving, bathing or changing my clothes whilst working my way through an RPG. That's 72 hours straight, baby.


• One of my tattoos is directly based on my favourite videogame, and I got it because I related the main character in the game's story to my own relationship with my wife

In all I would consider myself more than just your average gamer, and feel justified in judging the quality of a show that's on a cable network for gamers, and is actually sometimes about gaming.

So it was with nothing less than utter and complete dumbfounded SHOCK that I tuned in to tonight's episode of AOTS to see that in that show's quest to find a permanent co-host, they went ahead and filled the job with VANILLA ICE.

I shit you not.

And for the five minutes it took me to recover from the catatonic state this ludicrosity provoked, I was forced to watch while this bad joke from the early 90's sputtered like a landed fish through a conversation about games and technology, both of which he obviously knew absolutely nothing about.

At first I thought there was a chance that they were pulling some kind of 7 month early April fool's joke, particularly when it began to seem that they were making fun of ole Ice, Ice Baby. But I had to dismiss this idea, because he is a lot larger than Pereira, and could easily stuff him through a mail slot. And there is no way that anyone, not even Vanilla freaking Ice would volunteer to look like such a jackass.

So we're back to the rapture.

Oh dear, here come the locusts.

Labels: gaming, rants