The Occasional Solipsist

For those who don't know, t-shirt hell is a company that markets extremely funny, oftentimes offensive t-shirts for the online shopping enthusiast. Some shining examples of shirts that I would like to buy but probably will never fork the cash for are Don't Neglect the Balls, Your Sister is Hot, But Your Mom Does That Thing With Her Tongue, Mary Was Only a Virgin If..., and my personal favourite I Support Single Moms. (In a 3/4 jersey, baby blue/navy, size Small)

I received the monthly t-shirt hell newsletter today and included with the latest in their very funny offensive t-shirts was copies of correspondence between the company and some very offended hatemailers. I thought I'd include the emails for those who like me, have the kind of warped sense of humour that finds these kinds of shirts funny.

I'll also throw in a disclaimer that while I like a good joke as much as the next guy (so long as the next guy is middle class and white - HA, just kidding. see?), I don't recommend all of the products that t-shirt hell sells. Just the funny ones.

Here's the email traffic:

----- Original Message -----

From: Kellijean*** @ ***.com
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 7:26 PM
Subject: (no subject)

Dear who ever makes money off of a disability that not only effects my brothers but also millions of children and adults in the world your shirt "autistic kids rock" is beyond horrible autism is not a joke its a horrible disorder and I would like to know how you sleep at night making money off of hurting handicapped children I hope your company goes under and you someday have the pleasure of meeting one of the disabled misunderstood children that you are hurting so you know how truly disturbed and ignorant you truly are!

sincerely,
Kelly N.

P. S.: I am also a teenager who frequently buys tee shirts online along with my friends and I'm am going to work very hard to make sure no one i know will buy any of your "funny tee shirts"

(Editor's Note: It is ironic that you complain about our autism shirt, when one of the symptoms of autism is that the person lacks a sense of humor.
Perhaps, your brother's autism has rubbed off on you? Perhaps, it occurred when you were having him eat candy corn out of your panties in the back of your parents' walk-in closet? Or perhaps you don't really have a brother and the autistic person in question was you all along? The shirt in question does not hurt autistic children any more than it hurts them when you poke them with pointed sticks. Maybe that's a bad example. Regardless, the enjoyment of this shirt hinges on the person who sees it having a sense of humor, regardless of whether they are autistic. The boy who collects carts at the grocery store finds this shirt hilarious and I know he's some kind of retard. Of course he also finds soda cans, and bits of broken glass to be amusing, consequently he may not be the best judge. But I'm sure he is quite fond of candy corn, so you may find a use for him.)


----- Original Message -----

From: Rev. James J.
Sent: Wednesday, October 12, 2005 3:35 PM
Subject: Offensive

"Nothing runs like a queere"?

This is patently offensive and is yet another example of how it is still ok to "smear" the lgbt community.

How fitting that this came across my email desk on the 7th anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepherd, a young gay man brutally beaten and left to die on a fence in Wyoming. A student brought it to my attention, a young man struggling with issues of sexuality himself. This product, others like it, and the sentiment behind it make my job much more difficult.

I would suggest that you withdraw this product.

The Rev. James J. OCC
University Chaplain
Associate Dean of **** Chapel
**** University

(Editor's Note: It's always nice to see a University Chaplain take the time out of his busy schedule to address the important issues facing college students today. No, not date rape, substance abuse, or dwindling supplies of financial aid. You want to devote your time to exorcising the funny t-shirts from campus. I'm sure the young man struggling with issues of sexuality is tormented by our t-shirt. I doubt his struggles have anything to do with the warm welcome he has received his entire life from organized religion, and people like you, telling him his soul is doomed to eternal damnation just because he enjoys a little ass play and the occasional reach around. We are equal opportunity offenders. We poke fun at all races, colors, religions, and sexual orientations equally. So, until your church performs a Wiccan coming of age ceremony don't preach to me about tolerance.
It's too bad the young man in question didn't seek out a Catholic priest who could not only offer spiritual guidance, but also valuable tips on
technique.)

Labels: funny