one of the few touchy subjects around my house: santa claus
Sunday, December 17, 2006
I just read a thoughtful article about the dualism of trying to teach your children logical thinking as it pertains to one thing: religion (as an atheist, that's what I'll be doing), while lying your ass off to them about a similarly made up individual, namely that fat guy in the red suit.
Superwife is completely behind me on the religion thing, though she doesn't believe that religion is as dangerous as I do. Sam Harris would call her a 'weak atheist'. I am categorically a 'strong' atheist.
But there was some deal-making that had to be done when it came to the institution of xmas, and more importantly, whether to tell Trinity about Santa Claus. I vehemently opposed the idea, primarily because I want to lie to her about as little as possible over the course of her life. And I do not think telling her to believe in a fictional character who is omnipotent, all-knowing and can do some very interesting things with time and space is such a great idea. And that was before it had occurred to me that Santa's story reads a lot like another one which I will be very firm in placing with the other myths: That one about that kid from Bethlehem.
I had thought myself ok with the arrangement that Superwife and I had come to: That we would tell Trinity about Santa, but not make a bid deal about him. Make him more of a minor superhero than anything else. That he is not the guy in the mall (he's an impostor) and that he only gives okay presents. Like clothes. The present that Trin runs around the house calling The Supercoolestbestestpresentever would be from us.
I was okay with it, but now after reading this article comparing Santa to so many people's favourite imaginary friend, I'm not so sure.
I suppose the adage 'fight the fights you can win' applies here. And considering Superwife's love of all things secularly xmas, I doubt this one falls in that category. Here's a taste of the article, and look for the link to the whole thing after the jump:
Full article here.
Superwife is completely behind me on the religion thing, though she doesn't believe that religion is as dangerous as I do. Sam Harris would call her a 'weak atheist'. I am categorically a 'strong' atheist.
But there was some deal-making that had to be done when it came to the institution of xmas, and more importantly, whether to tell Trinity about Santa Claus. I vehemently opposed the idea, primarily because I want to lie to her about as little as possible over the course of her life. And I do not think telling her to believe in a fictional character who is omnipotent, all-knowing and can do some very interesting things with time and space is such a great idea. And that was before it had occurred to me that Santa's story reads a lot like another one which I will be very firm in placing with the other myths: That one about that kid from Bethlehem.
I had thought myself ok with the arrangement that Superwife and I had come to: That we would tell Trinity about Santa, but not make a bid deal about him. Make him more of a minor superhero than anything else. That he is not the guy in the mall (he's an impostor) and that he only gives okay presents. Like clothes. The present that Trin runs around the house calling The Supercoolestbestestpresentever would be from us.
I was okay with it, but now after reading this article comparing Santa to so many people's favourite imaginary friend, I'm not so sure.
I suppose the adage 'fight the fights you can win' applies here. And considering Superwife's love of all things secularly xmas, I doubt this one falls in that category. Here's a taste of the article, and look for the link to the whole thing after the jump:
But what concerns me almost as much as the blatant dishonesty about the Santa conspiracy is the way it fosters an uncritical acceptance of magic and miracles in very much the same way religion does. Skepticism is discouraged while faithfulness—believing without seeing—is the highest virtue.Of course, I could just lighten the fuck up a bit, but that would be out of character.
Full article here.
posted by raistlinsghost at 12/17/2006 10:40:00 AM
5 Comments:
See, I see Santa and religion as two seperate entities. Sinterclaus (or whatever) was just a guy who gave out presents to deserving kids. The church was the one who connected the two to draw the pagans into their little web of decit. I leave out the church thing with the kid. Its a touchy subject for me, that usually starts me ranting about wars, supression of women, controlling economics, political adgendas and lies.
I've always hated the whole Santa Claus thing... just setting the kid up for disappointment. There will be plenty of that down the line, why add to it. Besides he's just another tool used by those pesky god & jesus fellows to keep people in line.
RavenMoon21
See here's my problem: I am more like Theresa and want to be more like Jennifer about this.
I don't love the idea of lying to my daughter about something for so long and then expect her to be able to trust me on things that I really want her to understand.
But the bottom line is that I don't want it to be something that comes between my wife and I. She was never really exposed to any religious garbage (lucky girl) but loves the secular christmas traditions. She wants Trin to be able to enjoy the same fun stuff she did and thinks we can avoid all the dogma. And she figures all that lying didn't hurt her any, so what's my problem?
So you can see my dilemna.
well...
my mom was hyper-religious
so she avoided the whole Santa thing for similar reasons that you mentioned
inconsistency and such
there are funny stories of my mom panicking at a stop light as a man dressed in santa pulled up along side of us on a snowy winter day with his top down
he wanted to share his candy canes and christmas joy
my mom wanted nothing to do with it
as a parent it is all very interesting and difficult
where to start...
where to stop...
where to get strong and draw the line
I am too scared of god to be an atheist
but... I am willing to risk it all and expose my kids to it
the same goes for santa
life is short
the small children get such great joy out of the fantasy of christmas
it is an ugly world
the children do not need reality
reality will come
there will be disappointment
as far as lying to our children
we do it all the time
there are all sorts of mini-lies, white lies, and suspended disbelief
this is not something that I have a prepared answer for
so I am rambling
it is interesting that two atheists would raise a child named Trinity
then again
my sister and her husband are atheists and are raising their children to be Jewish
I guess I am a flip flopping atheists letting others introduce Christianity into our world
my older son is now five and a half
last year he did not believe in Santa
it was sad and it hurt me
as I thought he would pick it up from the outside world
he asked questions
and I answered in questions
he caught on to the notion that i did not believe
I had to look him square in the eye and say... "I never said that there was no such thing as Santa"
again...
trying not to lie
we worked it out
now he believes
and ya know what
we had a blast with the whole thing
oh...
Darth Vader is not real either
but
we talk a great deal about good versus evil
animals of free will
it can all be used for lessons of understanding and morality
gwadzilla: Interesting post. I appreciate your thoughts and perspective. And man do I hear you about the religious Mom. Wow.
You are probably right about us lying to our kids, as I know I will have to about some things whether I like it or not. And the real world is indeed an ugly one, so you got me there.
As far as Trin's name: Well, the fact that we are atheists pretty much tells you why we named her what we did. Sort of thumbing our noses at the religious world, because she represents the third member of the only Trinity that will ever matter to me. Read more of my raving about her name here.
But, the thing about Darth Vader not being real. You were just kidding, right?
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