some stars
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
I've never had much of a problem with facing my own death. I accepted it as a matter of course from a very young age, probably as soon as I was able to understand the concept.
Don't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to dying or anything. I have a lot to live for: A loving wife, a wonderful daughter, a cool sister, a few other family members I can stand, some good friends. I've just accepted that it'll happen whether I worry about it or not. So I choose not to. No, its not my death I have a problem with. I do however hit a snag when trying to deal with the deaths of people I love.
More years ago than I would have believed until I counted them, I lost a great friend to cancer. His name was Jon Cooley, and my friendship with him was the closest I've ever been to any other guy, family definitely included. His death hit me profoundly, and, more than my own mortality ever could, it forced me to re-examine my life and how I was living it.
His birthday has just come and gone, and if not for his cancer, and assuming no other horror befell him, he would have been 33.
I recently came across a short poem I wrote after Jon died and thought I'd share it to mark his birthday. Since writing it, I have always fantasized that it would be the dedication page to my first book. But since I pull out one of the stories I've started every few months, rewrite the first few chapters, hate what I've written and put it away again, the chances are very high that I myself will die of old age before I ever complete anything, let alone get anything published.
So here it is instead. Happy Birthday Jon. I miss you, man.
Don't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to dying or anything. I have a lot to live for: A loving wife, a wonderful daughter, a cool sister, a few other family members I can stand, some good friends. I've just accepted that it'll happen whether I worry about it or not. So I choose not to. No, its not my death I have a problem with. I do however hit a snag when trying to deal with the deaths of people I love.
More years ago than I would have believed until I counted them, I lost a great friend to cancer. His name was Jon Cooley, and my friendship with him was the closest I've ever been to any other guy, family definitely included. His death hit me profoundly, and, more than my own mortality ever could, it forced me to re-examine my life and how I was living it.
His birthday has just come and gone, and if not for his cancer, and assuming no other horror befell him, he would have been 33.
I recently came across a short poem I wrote after Jon died and thought I'd share it to mark his birthday. Since writing it, I have always fantasized that it would be the dedication page to my first book. But since I pull out one of the stories I've started every few months, rewrite the first few chapters, hate what I've written and put it away again, the chances are very high that I myself will die of old age before I ever complete anything, let alone get anything published.
So here it is instead. Happy Birthday Jon. I miss you, man.
Some stars burn too bright,
shining with such intensity that they cannot be sustained.
But long after their light has actually faded
they remain visible in our night sky,
lighting the way for all of us.
For Jon ~ July 18 2001
Labels: everything else
posted by raistlinsghost at 3/06/2007 12:53:00 AM
3 Comments:
sweet!
Amazing poem that you wrote for your friend. As you know I can really relate to this post. All I can say is that if you were that close to him, he must have been a great guy.
Thanks Dawn and Michael. And he was a great guy. His death really was one of the more pivotal events in my life. Made me re-evaluate a lot of things, helped me to see what was really important. Too late for my relationship with Jon, as he really was my best friend, but I doubt that I was his. But the other relationships that are important to me are carefully maintained now, because I am aware of their fragility.
Post a Comment
<< Home