comin' home
Monday, May 28, 2007
So Superwife, Trinity and I are in the throes of some fairly sizable changes these days.
I recently requested a job transfer back to my home town in Northern Ontario, so that we can be closer to my wife's family, and thereby get some much needed support. We've been living near Niagara Falls for about 5 years now, and even though we are within an hour's drive of a pile of Superwife's extended family, we never see or hear from any of them unless we make the effort. And to be honest, that got old pretty quick. The only people that we do have around here are a few really good friends and the only family member outside of my wife and daughter that I actually give a flying fuck about, my sister, and we see her only rarely these days. And with my wife staying home to raise our daughter while I work, its not near enough. She is lonely and frustrated and I don't blame her a bit, and that's why I asked to be transferred.
And I have been so looking forward to moving. We're from a fairly small community, and after living in a large city for the last few years, I actually want to buy a house in the sticks again, and change simple tasks like hitting the grocery store into major events again. I miss running into people I know every time I'm out. I miss feeling like I'm part of a community. I actually miss knowing that local gossip will let everyone in the area know our business before we tell anyone because it will save me the trouble. I also know that I won't miss these things once I'm back and experiencing them again.
One thing I won't get tired of is knowing that I can always get a table at my favourite restaurant because I washed dishes there when I was 12. Familiarity, it turns out, is one of those things that you take for granted when you have it, but you certainly notice it when there isn't any.
I have a very serious respect for causality: I know that if we hadn't moved down here, and made the myriad decisions that we have over the past 5 years, I would not now have my wonderful daughter and the deeply satisfying relationship with Superwife that I do, nor would I have landed the job that is allowing me to move back with the chance to make a decent living. So I regret living away from my home town not at all. But its going to be so good to be home again.
I recently requested a job transfer back to my home town in Northern Ontario, so that we can be closer to my wife's family, and thereby get some much needed support. We've been living near Niagara Falls for about 5 years now, and even though we are within an hour's drive of a pile of Superwife's extended family, we never see or hear from any of them unless we make the effort. And to be honest, that got old pretty quick. The only people that we do have around here are a few really good friends and the only family member outside of my wife and daughter that I actually give a flying fuck about, my sister, and we see her only rarely these days. And with my wife staying home to raise our daughter while I work, its not near enough. She is lonely and frustrated and I don't blame her a bit, and that's why I asked to be transferred.
And I have been so looking forward to moving. We're from a fairly small community, and after living in a large city for the last few years, I actually want to buy a house in the sticks again, and change simple tasks like hitting the grocery store into major events again. I miss running into people I know every time I'm out. I miss feeling like I'm part of a community. I actually miss knowing that local gossip will let everyone in the area know our business before we tell anyone because it will save me the trouble. I also know that I won't miss these things once I'm back and experiencing them again.
One thing I won't get tired of is knowing that I can always get a table at my favourite restaurant because I washed dishes there when I was 12. Familiarity, it turns out, is one of those things that you take for granted when you have it, but you certainly notice it when there isn't any.
I have a very serious respect for causality: I know that if we hadn't moved down here, and made the myriad decisions that we have over the past 5 years, I would not now have my wonderful daughter and the deeply satisfying relationship with Superwife that I do, nor would I have landed the job that is allowing me to move back with the chance to make a decent living. So I regret living away from my home town not at all. But its going to be so good to be home again.
Labels: everything else
posted by raistlinsghost at 5/28/2007 11:18:00 PM
7 Comments:
We've moved in with my parents in order to save a buck or two and being close to a support system is very very nice. I admire your desire (yay rhymes) to be familiar with your community, it's something that Joe and I will never likely experience in this part of Florida. Besides cracking jokes with the same blockbuster guy every weekend, there isn't really anything we can feel part of. And Joe likes to romanticize about moving to New York City. Personally, I have a less artsy and more drive-by shooting vision of what NYC really is like.
On a television note, I found the Heroes finale to be a bit anticlimactic, nevertheless I enjoyed it. But I don't know if I can live without Matt Parkman and Nathan Petrelli next season. :(
As my woman has said I want to move to New York (drive-bys and all). Community shommunity I like anonymity - it allows me to continue my evil experiments without the nuisance of fending off wanna-be superheroes and mystery solving hippies.
My closest friends (and that's not really that close) are scattered to the winds and I barely make the effort to call them and/or write them. Hell, I "speak" to you more regularly than my flesh-and-blood friends and I don't even know your real name.
If I were a weaker person all of the above would've been some sort of startling realization but. no... I'm an asshole.
Yeah I guess I shouldn't oversell the anonymity bit too much. After all, my name is nowhere to be found on this blog. And for what its worth, I consider you guys better friends than most other people I know, coz everyone I know is spread out all over the place and I never talk to them either. Whatever that's worth. lol.
But don't get me wrong; I have LOVED no one knowing me. But now that I've been away from anyone that knows me for so long and I have made only enough new real friends to count on (part of) one hand, and we have had ZERO help with our daughter, I have realized that knowing a few familiar faces isn't so bad after all.
I will probably hate it once I've been back for more than a week or so, but the real truth is that I am making this move so that my wife and daughter are happy, and I am just trying to convince myself about my choice. Because when they are happy, so am I. See, not so altruistic after all.
And I hear that the New York drive-by's are more of a nuisance than a threat. Just one other thing to get used to.
And Em, I am of the opinion that Matt will be back next season, but I don't think Nathan survived the nuke. Its going to be a long summer without any new Heroes/LOST/Smallville. If I wasn't an atheist, I'd say thank god for Dr. Who. ;)
You're doing a great thing. My husband want to do something similar, move to an English speaking country, for my sake. I am originally from the States, married an Italian and have been living in Italy for 5 years now. We want to move to Canada, and have been looking for jobs for my husband. Basically anywhere in Canada, minus Quebec.
Keep us informed how the move goes!
I totally agree, dude. 6 years ago MY Superwife and I made that decision, and it's been nothing but good. Then I saved up and got to move to the neighborhood that I really loved even as a kid, and it got even better. It's got a trail and I walk to the store all the time, or the video place.
This is going to be great for you, and besides, you're doing what's best for your wife and that's most important of all.
That's cool. Both Glen and I are nomads. He was a base brat and I grew up all over Southern Ontario. We were looking forward to getting posted this summer, then they broke our hearts. SNIFF.
I kinda hope that one day we will be able to think about some area as home.
Good luck on the move eh?
We really are one big happy blogosphere eh? Thanks for all the good wishes gang. I think this is going to be great for all of us.
Really, I'm pretty ambivalent about where I live so long as I have my daughter and my Yuna at my side. (Enjoy the Final Fantasy reference, kids?)
But that fresh smog-free air is going to taste so fine.
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