The Occasional Solipsist

Blu-Ray FTW!
Originally uploaded by raistlinsghost

With the recent announcement that HD-DVD is being dropped by WB, its almost a guarantee that Blu-Ray will win the High Def war.

I bought my PS3 for the games but if I needed another reason to remain a Sony fanboy, there it is. Did my pen from CES 2007 just go up in price?

Labels: gaming, movies, tech

Not to date myself too much, but the vehicle that first seriously turned me on to RPG gaming was the first Final Fantasy for the NES back in 1990. I was into PC games up til then, mostly of the D&D variety, but I have been a ridiculous fan of all things Final Fantasy ever since. Its entirely possible that if you were to add up the time I have spent playing various FF games, it might come close to the amount of time I have actually spent talking to Superwife. Well, unless you count time we've talked while I was playing a Final Fantasy game.

And yes, I appreciate the irony in calling a game franchise Final anything, and then having 12 sequels and a number of spin-offs.

Anyway, until XIII hits the shelves sometime in 2009 (in three games no less) Crisis Core for the PSP will have to keep me occupied. Direct prequel to FFVII, this game is going to be so much fun. Just hearing that music is enough to send some shivers up my fanboy spine.

Here's the link to the official site, for anyone other than me that is interested.

Release date is March 25, 2008, btw.

Labels: final fantasy, gaming

As I lay here on my couch after being awake for close to 24 hours, I was just thinking that its funny how some things you just can't miss seeing/playing/reading/doing as soon as you possibly can, and others you put off forever, but each can be equally satisfying, albeit for different reasons.

I stayed up late last night to watch the finale of Heroes, knowing I was going to drag my ass at work all day, and still feel that it was totally worth it. And tonight I finally finished playing through Final Fantasy XII after putting off the final boss fight for the last 2 or 3 months. And delaying changed my enjoyment not a bit. Probably the opposite. Seriously fantastic game. If I didn't already have that FFX tattoo...

My point, if I could be said to have one, is that I guess the things that a person really loves can be enjoyed just as much if they're taken slowly or consumed as fast as possible. Probably a life lesson for me there somewhere. Obviously sex notwithstanding, cause you want to get to that sweet finish as fast as you can, regardless of whether your partner makes the trip with you, right? Haha, just kidding, Superwife.

Wow, I think there ought to be a law on posting on a blog when a person is as tired as I am right now. Time for some z's.

Labels: everything else, gaming, heroes

The song titled 'the internet is for porn' has been floating around the interwebs for awhile now, but I just came across a version I hadn't seen before. Done up with some of my favourite videogame characters no less. Including Yuna and Lara. The song is surprisingly catchy, and its funny as hell.

Funnier still because watching it at work (on my break of course) just led to my admittal to my coworker that the reason I got into web dev waaaay back was initially from me reading source code to see if I could hack into sites that hosted, you guessed it... porn.

Labels: everything else, gaming, porn

I have always extolled the many virtues of being married to a technophobe, most of which have to do with not having to share my tech (the pc, the gaming console, the cell phone, the iPod, etc.) And it is nice knowing that as soon as I get free time, I can play with whatever I want, but I have found a small downside: Superwife may indeed be a super wife, but she is no gamer. Twice now in the last week I have left my Final Fantasy XII game on pause after slogging halfway through a dungeon with no save point in sight, only to have Superwife come along and use the same outlet to plug in the vacuum, thereby losing my game. ARGH!

And the worst part is that she doesn't comprehend the pain she's inflicting whilst wantonly destroying germs, dust and half-crushed cheerios. Simply mentioning it to her sends her into a little fit of laughter, as if to say that because it doesn't interest her or have any redeeming value whatsoever, its not important. But of course it is to me, null value and all.

But while she demonstrated that she thinks my diversions are unimportant to her at best, she also reminded me why I love her so much: I asked her why she didn't just tell me that the power went out during both recent game stoppages. She told me she wouldn't lie to me. Not even about something so unimportant.

So either the fear of technology goes hand in hand with the fear of lying, or she is still the best wife out there. I am leaning towards the latter.

Labels: gaming

I got back late yesterday morning from my trip to Vegas and Holy Shit was I tired. Know what happens when you go to not one, but two conventions in Las Vegas? You walk. A lot.

But going to the CES convention and the AVN Expo in the same week was a real treat. An online friend called me a Superdork for going to the conventions, and as labels fit, its not a bad one. But I don't know how I could have more fun in four days and still stay married. Here are the highlights:



Gadgets, Gadgets, Gadgets - Robots, completely net enabled houses, SlingMobile, IPTV, next gen mobile phones. These are just a few of the things I got to see at this year's CES. The only bad thing about seeing all these cool toys is that I now want to buy each and every single one of them.

Got my ass fragged by the best - The World Series of Gaming had a huge tent at the event, and I got to play Quake 4 against some of the world's best gamers. I actually didn't fare as badly as I would've thought, but since no one I knew saw me sneak in a few kills, there's only my word as proof of my geek cred.



3 Doors Down - The guys who I only knew from their songs Kryptonite and Loser put on a free acoustic concert the second day of the show, and it was really good. The funniest part was the ridiculous amount of handheld recording devices getting the concert on PDAs, mobiles, camera, camcorders. It was like a parody of an 80s Def Leopard concert using gadgets instead of lighters.

The Gay Discount - I must have been accidentally wearing my homosexual camouflage (homoflauge?) to the convention the one day, because as I was checking out in a lunch line, I found out about a special 'members only' discount. The guy working the counter was about to charge me for my $15.00 cheeseburger, fries and water, when he told me that he'd give me a special discount down to $4.50. I thanked him and offered to tip him, and that was when he looked me over and said 'Don't worry honey. We play on the same team, and we need all the money we can get.' I smiled, said nothing more, and accepted my discount. Hey, it was $10!



My what a big cell phone I have - I came across a booth for a new single use 'Cell Phone Condom', complete with bikini clad beauties eager to demo the device on any unsuspecting sucker's attendee's mobile device. So I bit, and as one of the girls lasciviously demoed the product, she told me in all seriousness that my cell phone was so big, she could hardly get the condom on. I just about fell apart. I asked her if the condom would still work, and she looked from my face, directly to my crotch and back, and said 'Don't worry, we'll find a way to fit it in there'. I actually giggled.

Special preview of Spiderman 3 - At the Sony booth I got to see about 10 minutes of footage from the new Spidey flick that no one from the public had ever seen before. It was fucking awesome. Fun fact: There was more security in the theater to ensure no one was filming the footage than I'd ever seen in one room before.

Got a drink dumped on me in the World's Biggest Strip Club - My friend was being worked over by a rather nasty stripper at Sapphires, apparently the biggest strip club ever, and when he turned her down on going back to the VIP room with her, she not only dumped his drink all over him, she grabbed mine and hosed me down too, forcing us to cut out. I should probably thank her though, cause if she didn't do that, who knows how much more money I would've blown.



I got to meet The Porn Queen of MySpace - Not only did I get to meet Dana DeArmond, but she hugged me. Tight. I have the picture to prove that. I was the first person to show up for her fan signing at four o'clock, and she was very friendly, down to earth, and genuinely seemed to want to have a conversation with me. Superwife doesn't have to worry about competition, but if I were a weaker man...

Attack of the Geek (that would be me) - I got to meet Kevin Perreira and Olivia Munn of Attack of the Show fame. They were filming a bit for the show at the AVN Expo, and afterwards I marched on up to them and made a complete ass of myself expressing my fanboyism for the pair. Olivia even zinged me for the enormous bag of porn I was carting around.

I don't imagine that I'll bother going back next year for either convention. I can't see how I could have a better time.

Feel free to peruse the rest of my pics from the trip on my Flickr page.

Labels: everything else, gaming, porn, tech

A good friend of mine and I are heading to Las Vegas tomorrow for the Consumer Electronics Show (CES), something I have been trying to get to with varying degrees of effort for years. It just happens that I am off for the exact 4 days of the conference, and Superwife, being the super wife that she is, convinced me that I should go now while I have the opportunity.

Needless to say I have been very excited for the last month or so about the whole thing. Looking forward to checking out all the new gadgets, phones, cameras, and computer hardware and peripherals that will be coming out, to say nothing of attending the World Series of Gaming.

To put it mildly I have been very happy as I have been getting ready for the event.

And then a friend of mine asked me if I was going to attend the porn convention that runs concurrently with CES.

To which I responded "Come again?"

After I picked my jaw up I Googled other conventions going on at the same time as CES, found out that yes, the world's largest adult entertainment conevention is in fact going on at the same time, and thanked my friend for saving me from possibly missing out on something that I would regret forever.

To paraphrase George Costanza, for the heterosexual male completely unaware that the trip he was taking to attend a tech convention just happens to run at the same time as the world's biggest congregation of porn stars, it was like discovering plutonium by accident.

So now I just have to figure out how to make Superwife okay with the signature of Nicole Sheridan I plan on coming home with on my ass. Think a snap of the next gen Blackberry will cut it?

Labels: everything else, gaming, tech

My deep need to play Zelda: Twilight Princess notwithstanding, I want a PS3 a lot more than I want a Wii.

But this video makes a pretty convincing case for why everyone else will go with the far cheaper, much sexier, and likely a lot more fun to play offering from Nintendo.

Labels: gaming

If you have been a fan of the Silent Hill series, easily the scariest videogame franchise ever made (as I am), you were expectantly awaiting the release of the Silent Hill movie, which came out a little over a month ago.

I have been eagerly anticipating this movie ever since I heard it was being made, and dirty prick that I am, I downloaded a theater recorded copy rather than wait for the DVD to come out. Which is okay, because I'll be buying the DVD when it comes out later this year anyway.

I even posted about my anticipation of this movie twice before, once last July and again this January as more details of the film began to come out.

The first thing to know about this brilliantly realized adaptation is that you will likely have to figure out what was going on after the movie has ended.

And in order to help me describe the intellectual effort that you will need to understand the movie, I'll use the story of something once said to me to demonstrate:

A few years ago a person in my life and I were discussing Chinese food places. Not being originally from this town, I had asked this person where the best place was to go and had tried out his recommendation. It stunk. The food was greasy and tasted like dogfood. Not being one to mince words, I let this person know what I thought of his recommendation, whereupon I was told to try a more generic place, as he likened what I was looking for to be 'The McDonald's of Chinese Food'. I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to be insulting, but sometimes I'm easily offended. It felt like he was letting me know that his tastes were more refined than mine, and he was entitled to look down on me for my choices.

So why use an analogy about Chinese food to distinguish between two groups of genre movie fans?

Because there are those that like for there to be layers to their movie experience that only reveal themselves after consideration, long after the movie has ended.

And then there are those that want predictable storylines that don't require them to turn on their minds for longer than the few seconds it takes to get another beer out of the fridge. Sort of 'The McDonald's of Movie Experiences', if you will.

This movie is definitely for the former group.

For an exciting change of pace, I won't post my review of the movie, nor will I ruin it by explaining what it was really about.

But I will say that if you're a fan of either the Silent Hill videogame franchise or genre films that make you think about what is actually going on, you should go see this movie.

And if you really need it explained afterwards, there are plenty of reviewers out there that can do your thinking for you over at Yahoo Movies.

Silent Hill is by far the most faithful videogame to movie adaptation ever made, and the bulk of the people that didn't like it are people from that second camp that would have been better off skipping the movie and watching 'Pimp My Ride' instead.

Labels: gaming

I read an article online the other day (for which I can't find the link again) that referenced a recent study on gamers, and their demographics. It turns out that the average video game player is a caucasian male, aged 31.

They couldn't have had it more right if they'd used my name.

There are some people I know that would laugh if they found out (or know) that I spend a lot of my free time (of which there is so little nowadays anyway: see any post about my daughter) playing videogames. I couldn't give a flying fuck what those people think anyways, but it’s nice to know that I am not even close to alone in what I choose to do with my spare time.

I have owned most of the major consoles at one time or another and I now own a PS2 and PSP, and a decent gaming pc.

I have so many vivid memories of playing games either with good friends or experiencing a particular game on my own. It's probably hard for someone who doesn't understand the inherent fun in losing yourself in a great game to get the whole thing, but they're the ones missing out.

I am literally a child of the videogame generation. (Generation V, mebbe?)

My first memory of videogames is my old man drinking with a buddy of his and playing pong in my parent's living room. I couldn't have been more than 2 or 3. It made a profound impression on me. The whole concept totally fascinated me.

I could go on and on about my passion for gaming; I could talk again about one of my tattoos and its videogame inspiration, but I don't want to scare you off too fast.

I guess I've had gaming on the brain so much because E3 just ended, and I've been following it religiously. A buddy of mine and I were supposed to go this year, but it fell through. I was just devastated when I found out I wasn't going to go. I was really looking forward to it.

And I just finished watching Grandma's Boy, a movie about two things: videogames and pot. In only one viewing it has just become one of my favourite movies. If you haven't seen it yet, and you like videogames at all, go get it. It's much funnier than the critics would have you believe.

And the game shown as they run the credits? Galaga. And here's a great online version of the game. Great for those coffee breaks.

And while I'm doling out game related links, here's Joystiq's salute to those most precious of endangered species, The Booth Babe. As I mentioned in a forum post about having to hang out with women that look like this AND get to be immersed in the forefront of the gaming industry, Battle on brave soldiers. Battle on for the rest of us.

Labels: gaming

I always knew it. Even back in Link's 2d sidescrolling era, the character looked suspiciously female. I mean, no self-respecting dude since the middle ages could get away with that whole tunic and tights look.

And once Ocarina of Time came out, there was no getting around it: Link was a chick. Which obviously made her a lesbian, what with all of the 'falling in love with Princess Zelda and saving her from the bad guy' point to every single game in the franchise.

And to boot, Link is now a smoking hot chick, which makes it so much the sweeter.

Props to Joystiq for finally getting the goods.

Labels: gaming

With over 2 million units sold in just over a month, FFXII, the latest installment of the Final Fantasy franchise (which the Western hemisphere won't get to see for another 5 months) seems pretty much unstoppable.

This game is so highly anticipated, it'll probably outsell all bibles for every religion on the planet this year. So I'm wondering, at what point can Vaan proclaim that he's bigger than Jesus?

Here's a great article that defends some of the perceived flaws in the game, and explains why this is probably the best game in the series yet.

While I wait for the release date, I'm going to snap up Tomb Raider: Legend, Crisis Core and at least one of the superhero RPGs that are coming out over the next few months.

But FFXII is still the only game I'm really waiting for this year.

Labels: final fantasy, gaming

2006 is going to be known as 'the year every cool videogame I've been waiting for gets made'. Maybe I'll shorten that, but you get the idea.

You'd think that I'd have enough to look forward to with the new Tomb Raider: Legend, 2 new FFVII games, Final Fantasy XII, even the Lego Star Wars sequel.

But no, now there are going to be two new RPGs using superhero characters coming out this year, drawing characters from the Marvel and DC universes respectively.

Neither game is slated for release on the PSP, but then since no one is developing games for the PSP in general, that’s not much of a surprise.

There's a good article over at IGN.com about the upcoming games.

This is going to be great. Now all I have to do is not die or something this year so I can enjoy all of that superhero RPG goodness.

Labels: gaming

I just came across this article on IGN.com concerning their recent visit from salesgirl-turned-Lara-Croft-model Karima Adebibe. And just like every Playboy I've ever read to digest the articles, you're going to have to skim by a lot of pictures of this uberbabe.

Poor you.

And how about the lucky bastard in the picture above eh? If I do someday have to die, and I haven't yet made up my mind that I will, I could go out in similar fashion.

If the upcoming in-game Lara looks anything like this girl, I can now say that I am even more excited for Tomb Raider: Legend than I was previously. If such a thing is possible.

Full article (and pictures, did I mention that part?) here.

Labels: gaming

I read about this in a post on Joystiq. I'm the last guy to make fun of someone to have a videogame inspired tattoo, having one myself, but this guy/gal is taking things to a whole new unhealthy extreme.

Though I suppose that's one way to get people to look at your ass.

Labels: gaming

I have never played a scarier game than Silent Hill 3 in my life. I bought it for the PS2 when it came out a few years ago, and played it consistently late at night, with all the lights off, as was suggested by early reviewers.

The game was flat out pants-shittingly scary, and I don't frighten easily.

So it has been with a large measure of expectation that I've been awaiting the release of the film adaption of the Silent Hill franchise, purportedly based heavily on the 3rd game.

'Why write about this now', you ask?

Well, Sony has released a full 2:30 minute trailer, and it looks like the movie is going to live up to the game, and then some. Even the website is done in the style of the games, flipping you seamlessly out of the 'normal' page and into the otherworldy style. Very creepy.

Check out the trailer here.

Movie hits theaters April 21st.

Labels: gaming

So I just finished figuring out the css file protocols for MT 3.2.

I know, I know, an updated Version 3 was just released, and the bastards at Movable Type are forcing users to PAY for this latest version - don't even get me started on that one.

So I'm a little behind by figuring the css out months after 3.2 swept the net. But in my defence I will say that this is the first time I really tried.

Anyway, bottom line is that the exclusive use of css for formatting pages generated with Movable Type makes for easy editing when modifying the site for viewing on a mobile device, say a PSP browser.

And because of that and the afforementioned late night tinkering, this blog now looks killer in all browsers, including the PSP's.

Yeah, I know: I rock.

But I do like to hear it often, so go ahead.

Labels: gaming

So I just finished setting up a webserver to stream tunes to my PSP via my wireless network thanks to the RSS feature in version 2.6 of the PSP firmware. Now no matter where I am in the house or the yard, I can listen to my music. How cool is that?

I'd like to take all the credit for writing the code used, but really all I did was modify a few lines of code and set up a webserver.

But I'll pat myself on the back anyways, because only a geek with not a hell of a lot to do but sleep at 1:00 am would bother.

If you have a PSP, a wireless network and the burning desire to get the most out of your gadgets, AND you want to thumb your nose at those snotty iPod owners out there (family excepted of course), check out the walkthrough here.

Labels: gaming

How did I miss this? I am a huge fan of the Final Fantasy game series, right from its humble beginnings on the NES to drooling over the forthcoming PS3 release.

I have a tattoo of The Zanarkand Abes logo on my shoulder for chissakes!

So how could I not know about the Final Fantasy PSP game that is supposed to be coming out this year?!?

Well, at least I know now, and can drool along with all the other fanboys (and girls - I'm looking at you Cosplay Angel).

The game is tentatively called Crisis Core, and is a Final Fantasy VII spinoff game involving the Zack character. It sounds like it could be cool, and will be a do-not-rent-go-directly-to-buy game for me. IGN has a few articles that collects the information available to date here. Apparently Sony is being hush hush about the whole thing. Maybe a dual PS3/PSP release for both games? We'll see.

And now to one of the funniest things I've ever seen: Video of two people dressed up as Pacman and a ghost running through a library and computer room as Pacman screams hysterically and the ghost wonka wonkas menacingly behind him. Seriously funny shit. Download here.

Labels: gaming

Great new comic posted yesterday at VG Cats. Check it out over here.

I love that site.

Labels: funny, gaming

So I just put in my application for Joystiq last night. Said application was for the coveted position of blog writer, with the emphasis on turning out game reviews for that penultimate source of game information.

The lucky writer that gets the position not only gets to be paid for reviewing games and staying on the leading edge of gaming culture, but also gets to tell everyone that cares to listen that they now in fact have the coolest job in the world.

And because I want the best person to get the job, even if its not me, here's the link to apply. Good luck!

Labels: gaming

There's a new review of the upcoming Tomb Raider Legend set for release Spring 2006 at IGN.com. Updated screens and video are included, and thanks to IGN, Lara has regained her place on my desktop in all her rendered glory.

One thing they finally answer in the preview is what console the game will be playable on, and the answer is all of them. Apparently Tomb Raider Legend will be playable on PC, PS2, AND a special port to coincide with the XBOX 360 launch.

I love having a great game to wait for. Not too long mind you, but everybody needs something to look forward to.

And since I have everything else I need; great wife, beautiful baby girl, something to pay the bills with, a reasonably long life expectancy, I can now put all of my anticipation into waiting expectantly for cool new video games to come out.

Labels: gaming

First up, a really funny comic for anyone who's ever played any of the 'F-Zero' games. A buddy and I lived in an apartment for awhile that was kind of the hub for all of our friends, and at any given time, there was likely someone playing F-Zero on our old SNES console. What a ridiculous game, but I can't tell you how many hours we spent out of our heads battling it out on that game. The strip is here.

Mute City. LMAO.

And fans of the genre-spawning vidoegame DOOM, who have been cringing for the last few years anytime the movie version is mentioned, can finally breathe a sigh of relief. First reviews coming out for this movie sound very promising, and all signs point to the best videogame adaption since the first Resident Evil movie (and NOT the despicable sequel, cool fact that it was shot in Toronto notwithstanding). Apparently DOOM is going to be just like you remember the videogame as you played it, gore and all. IGN has an outstanding review.

And now to the offensive read. If you're a person who thinks that op-ed pieces about the quality of female drivers just aren't funny, I'd give this one a miss. For anyone else, the hilarity is here.

Labels: gaming

Cosplayers: Whenever I get it in my head that I devote too much time to videogames (playing, reading & blogging about them, thinking about playing, reading & blogging about them) I think of the people that get together at conventions that are held for the express purpose of wearing the outfits of their favourite videogame/anime/scifi characters, and just laugh and laugh.

But as much as these people are (and should remain) the object of everyone's ridicule, I came across an article today about a few cosplayers that, silly as they are, at least got the costumes right. The picture of Tifa and her anatomically incorrect boobies speaks to that point. Full article here.

Don't get me wrong though: If Superwife comes to bed in full Princess (from Battle of the Planets) costume, complete with gogo boots and the ridiculously short skirt, you can be sure I won't kick her out.

Labels: final fantasy, funny, gaming, superwife

I came across this strip moments before taking X-Men Legends 2 out of the box for the first time.

Haha, razzle dazzle.

Read the full strip here.

Labels: gaming

I just got ahold of an in-game screengrab for the upcoming Tomb Raider: Legend game.

Speaking strictly visually, how great does this game look? I'm chomping at the bit to get the game already, and there's no release date in site yet.

But let's face facts: for anyone who is a fan of the franchise, there've been a few disapointments in the years since Lara made her world-altering debut. Personally, I liked Angel of Darkness. A lot. But some of the other titles really came across like Eidos was just phoning it in.

And then there was a bit of brand watering-down that occurred after the Tomb Raider movie sequel made hardly a blip across radar screens across the globe. Too bad too, because Angelina Jolie made a great Lara. No Rhona Mitra, but still really good.

But this next revamp of the series promises to deliver where some of the previous games have fallen short, with Eidos even bringing back one of the original designers to bring the franchise back full circle.

So fans of the franchise can choose to believe that this will be the sequel that restores Lara Croft to her proper place in gaming royalty, or not. I'm a half full guy, so I'm hoping for greatness.

One thing that isn't clear however is what platform the new game will be for. Josytiq reports an XBOX 360/PS3 release, while the official site currently referes to the 2nd gen consoles.

Might be a smart move to bring it to the 3rd gen machines, except that I haven't made peace with that $500-600 price tag just yet. Hopefully Joystiq just missed the mark on this one.

Labels: gaming

After a short learning curve last night, I spent the better part of three hours swinging through the skies above New York City as my all time favourite superhero, in the new PS2 game Ultimate Spiderman.

Killer game; cool open storyline, huge environments, amazing graphics, controls are fairly intuitive and easy to learn. It is already one of the best videogames I've played this year.

However.

In the real world (or at least what I think is the real world most of the time) I am deathly afraid of heights, a fact that my wife is infuriatingly eager to share with friends, family, and menacing looking strangers.

Maybe afraid of heights is the wrong phrasing to use. Pants-shittingly terrified is a little better. The real truth of it is that I get stomach churning vertigo whenever I look down any height and allow my eye to follow the path from where I am to the ground.

A few experiences that may or may not have anything to do with my phobia:

• Sliding my body between the bars of an apartment balcony when I was very young, maybe 4, and getting seriously screamed at by the idiot that should have been watching me


• Being held by my feet over a staircase by a cousin when I was 5 or 6


• Being forced to go on The World's Largest Ferris Wheel when I was 10 or 11, sobbing in uncontrollable terror and laughed at the whole time

Those things may have contributed to it, maybe not. I am not a big believer in being born with anything but the most basic of instincts. I am a subscriber of the nurture theory, which means that somewhere along the way I picked up this fear, but other than providing further proof that certain family members of mine are dicks, that is not of much consequence.

What is of consequence is that I had thought my fear, if not buried, was at least covered enough to get me through the rest of my life. A belief I tested when I chose to go up the Skylon Tower (520 ft above ground, 775 ft above the Niagara river below) a few years ago. Aside from having to get pretty drunk first, I made out all right.

But last night I was totally immersed in my Spiderman game, and I actually got Vertigo while swinging in between the tall buildings in Manhattan.

Seriously. As in for the briefest of moments I felt the same kind of panic that I get when I experience real vertigo on a real height.

So I figure one of two things is the cause: Either the game is so immersive that I was able to extend my irrational fear onto a false reality that I was choosing to believe, or using this blog as my own personal therapy area is not going to cut it, and I am going to have to shell out for the professional stuff.

Or maybe I can choose to use my new game to conquer my fear for once and for all.

And while that's not very likely (or rational), it does give me an excuse to stay up well past my bedtime again tonight.

Labels: gaming, narcissism

For anyone who knows me, either through direct experience or gleaned from browsing through the many shining examples on this blog, I am not now, nor have I ever been the most sensitive of people.

Not that I'm declaring to the world for once and for all that I am a bonafide jerk. People like me don't make declarations like that.

But I will say that I am not anywhere near as nice a guy as some out there, and here's why:

I had to sit through an agonizing 8+ hour drive up north to my in-laws on Friday, a drive that should have taken a scant 4.5 hours but for one silly bitch's bad driving. I don't know the details of the accident that closed the highway seemingly FOREVER, but what I do know is that a minivan entered a contest with a gas tanker in a very head-on capacity and surprisingly, the minivan lost. And because of this loss, I myself lost an extra 3.5 hours that I would rather have spent at my in-laws sailing quietly away from sobriety.

So, insensitive prick that I am, I spent the vast majority of that time sitting on the highway, listening to Superwife loudly count the minutes to and past Trinity's next feeding, smelling the pungent aroma of my daughter's latest offering, and seething at how inconvenient it was for the person driving that minivan to go ahead and get into an accident that killed them.

Imagine the nerve, ruining my friday afternoon like that.

---

Insert funny segway here.

Meh, I've never been much for segways. To prove that, here's a great clip I came across today. Froggers of the world unite. Hilarious.

And in one bold, last non-segway, I just tonight got my hands on the new Ultimate Spiderman game. The good and moral part of me can't wait to save New York from all of the baddies. And the insensitive prick in me (see above) can't wait to kick hell out of all those innocent civilians.

Labels: family, gaming, rants, trinity

So it turns out that last night's Vanilla Ice appearance on AOTS was nothing more than a bad joke. Which he in turn is, so that makes sense.

This is what happens when I am busy paying attention to the baby instead of watching the teaser for the show, wherein it was explained that the appearance would be mocking the whole co-host finding thing they've got going.

Whatever.

I was worried (only for a bit) that I'd somehow ended up in the Mirror Universe or someplace similar where horrible things like Vanilla Ice getting a cool job could actually happen.

But, it also turns out that after I turned AOTS off in disgust last night, they did a long bit where they made fun of Canadians for a whole segment.

So they still suck.

But that's okay because I can turn on any Canadian show at any time of day (even the news) and its a guarantee that someone is making fun of Americans. Its almost too easy these days.

Labels: gaming

This entry is going to be filed under my brand new category 'the rapture must be coming'.

I am a regular fan of G4TV and a few of its shows, most notably X-Play, and The Screen Savers (now Attack of the Show). I even posted the other night using 'The Feed' format from AOTS.

And it is now clear that Attack of the Show has broken a historical new low, even for cable television.

First of all, what qualifies me to make this kind of judgment:

• I'm regularly on IGN.com.


• I read Joystiq every day.


• I play videogames (PC/ PS2) whenever I get the chance (though now that usually means squeezing my gaming in between Trinity's last feeding and the 1:00 am repeat of Enterprise).


• I have applied for a job at the local game design studio enough times to guarantee I will never get an interview.


• I once spent three days in a row without shaving, bathing or changing my clothes whilst working my way through an RPG. That's 72 hours straight, baby.


• One of my tattoos is directly based on my favourite videogame, and I got it because I related the main character in the game's story to my own relationship with my wife

In all I would consider myself more than just your average gamer, and feel justified in judging the quality of a show that's on a cable network for gamers, and is actually sometimes about gaming.

So it was with nothing less than utter and complete dumbfounded SHOCK that I tuned in to tonight's episode of AOTS to see that in that show's quest to find a permanent co-host, they went ahead and filled the job with VANILLA ICE.

I shit you not.

And for the five minutes it took me to recover from the catatonic state this ludicrosity provoked, I was forced to watch while this bad joke from the early 90's sputtered like a landed fish through a conversation about games and technology, both of which he obviously knew absolutely nothing about.

At first I thought there was a chance that they were pulling some kind of 7 month early April fool's joke, particularly when it began to seem that they were making fun of ole Ice, Ice Baby. But I had to dismiss this idea, because he is a lot larger than Pereira, and could easily stuff him through a mail slot. And there is no way that anyone, not even Vanilla freaking Ice would volunteer to look like such a jackass.

So we're back to the rapture.

Oh dear, here come the locusts.

Labels: gaming, rants

So now it's after two o'clock on a Sunday night/Monday morning, and because I slept like a rock star last night, getting about 10 hours, I'm still not tired yet.

I am going to be kicking my ass all day tomorrow.

I've been watching AOTS reruns a lot lately, so here's my version of the feed:

• My packers got their asses handed to them today in a disgusting display of football ineptitude. Again. Fucking Favre.


• To add insult to injury, I had to have a meeting with my boss while the Packers were getting said asses kicked. Nice guy, my boss, but still.


• I finally have a real reason to buy a PSP: A new PSP accessory that is coming out that allows you to play UMDs and PSP games on your tv via a docking station. Stunningly good idea. You can read about that here.


• Trinity turns 11 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe how unbelievably fast it seems those 11 weeks went by.


• I still, after more than 4 years find myself missing my buddy Jon all the time. It sneaks up on me when I least expect it. Even listening to Puff Daddy (or Diddy, or whatever the fuck he's called now) & Sting sing the remix of Every Breath makes me sad. And Cooley didn't even like Sting.

Labels: everything else, gaming

As reported by Joystiq earlier today, the eagerly anticipated new movie based on one of Square's highest selling Final Fantasy games (FFVII) got leaked onto the net this week.

And is anyone surprised by the leak? I doubt it.

Gamers are almost or more crazy about their fandom than scifi nuts, and we all remember that copy of Episode 3 that went around the net until the FBI squashed that party.

But I have a unique perspective on the kind of people that would download a rip of a movie that hasn't come out yet. I don't think they're real fans at all, and I''ll tell you why:

If a person really enjoys something, be it a movie, videogame, whatever, I'm of the opinion that they don't mind paying for the real thing, with all of the perks that go along with that purchase. DVD extras, etc.

Its the casual fan that doesn't want to shell out for the privilege of owning something that they're not really that into anyway.

Now don't get me wrong. I am a loud, proud supporter of filesharing. I never turn my bittorrent client off, and I think of kazaa when I hear a song I like rather than run to the nearest music store.

I'm just saying that in the case of something that a person really wants to own/watch because of a visceral connection to that material, especially a movie made based on a killer video game, its somehow wrong to get a stripped down version of that movie.

And with japanese subtitles no less.

So in as much as it pains me to have to wait a little longer to see what Cloud and the kids have been up to, and if Aeris will somehow enter into things, I am content to wait until the real deal is out so I can own it in all my scary fanboy glory.

Labels: gaming

Heads up Puritans!

You know that cute inoffensive game about puppies you thought you were getting for your kid/grandkid/niece/nephew/whatever?

It was actually puppy porn.

Turns out that now there is a mod called the 'hot biscuit mod' (of course) for Nintendogs that allows your puppy to do what comes naturally when the mood strikes it.

Should have gone with GTA: San Andreas. At least with 'hot coffee', there's no nudity.

Check out joystiq for the whole scoop.

Labels: gaming

Came across a crazy article about MMORPGS today. For those who don't know, MMORPG stands for Massively Mutliplayer Online Role Playing Game.

I haven't yet wanted to try one for a few reasons, chief among them time. Maybe I've been waiting for the right game, but that would have definitely been FFXII, so that excuse dosen't hold up.

Truth is they kinda scare the hell out of me.

I have read horror story after horror story about jobs lost, marriages that have fallen apart, and families destroyed over these games. And I know that if I started to get involved in one, I have exactly the right mix of love of RPGs, addictive personality and cynicism towards real people to get totally lost in one of these metaverses.

The article makes some shocking comparisons to these immersive online experiences and the virtual reality world of the Matrix. And claims that either we're destined for that future or we're almost there already.

Here's a taste:

Total immersion, the kind that could really fool you, won't happen tomorrow. But as time goes on it is absolutely inevitable that the graphics will become life quality, that visual displays light years beyond monitors or cumbersome headsets will hit the market. The keyboard and mouse will be long gone, everything done by thought and voice. It is the logical end of everything game developers and console makers are trying to do today and they will not stop until they have it.

And that, my friends, will be a watershed moment in human history. The point where we can trick the senses into thinking a piece of software is real, thinking a real supermodel is in our bed or a dragon is in our front yard or our dead mother has come back to give us advice, that's when everything changes. The metaverse will still be less important in many fundamental ways. Goods won't be produced there, food won't be grown there, babies won't be born there. But in the minds of a whole lot o' people, visits to the physical world will be just brief interruptions to the "real" world as they live it, the world where all of their friends and hobbies and ambitions are.

Full article is here.

Labels: gaming

The American body that hands out ratings for videogames in that country, the ESRB, has dealt out a death sentence for the Rockstar game GTA:San Andreas.

They changed the rating for the game from Mature to Adults Only, based on the outcry from family moralists across that country. But the game has been shelved not because of the horrific violence, cop-killing, car-stealing or drug-dealing. It has been all those things since it was released months ago, and nobody said shit. Or not very loudly anyway.

The game got its ass handed to it when some punk exploited a mod that had its code broken by Rockstar before the game's release. This kid created a method of rebuilding the code through a hack, thus making the mod playable. And can you guess what the mod had to do with, if not the afforementioned violence? Yup. You guessed it: Sex.

And the sex scene itself consists only of a naked chick and a fully clothed guy, doing some moaning and dry-humping.

Big fucking deal.

What kind of a country is okay with kids playing out violent images of murder and mayhem over and over, but only becomes concerned when a nipple comes out? Oh yeah, the same country that went apeshit over a nipple popping out during the Superbowl.

Fuck. Am I glad I don't live there.

Personally I don't mind the violence in games one bit. I play violent games all the time, and I believe myself to be no worse for it. In fact, I think they perform the opposite of what all the free-thought-destroyers believe, by providing a safe outlet for gamers to vent. I just think that if you're going to throw a tizzy about videogame content, lets get our priorities straight.

Another great article about the rating change and what it means for gamers everywhere can be found here.

Labels: gaming

I finally figured out what the eff X-Play stands for. I watch the show all the time, and always thought it was an in-joke that I wasn't getting.

I think I was right: The X button on a PS/PS2 controller and the word Play in pretty much every game ever made.

I'm a little slow.

By the way, the 'eff' is my attempt to curb the inordinate amount of swearing I use in the hopes that my child's first word won't be cocksucker or something simlilarly eloquent.

But since my baby won't likely be reading the blog for at least a few weeks, I should probably be ok on here.

Anything on at your place at 1:30am? Cause up here with the country cable, there's sweet shit on.

You either pick between a terrible movie where Michael Ironside is the only recognizable name, or an infomercial of bikini clad babes trying to coerce callers to have the time of their lives on the chat line. The same chat line that the girls in question wouldn't call because they're out laying pipe with real men, not fuckheads that think a good time awaits them for only $19.95 a call.

So you tune that shit out and fire up the browser to check out the daily reads. Ordinarily you'd load up the RSS reader and have enough stuff to read until the rapture, but that's all the way downstairs.

So you get your reads in and tonight, you end up coming very close to getting punched out by the wife you wake up from laughing so hard at the gems you come across.

In fact, you haven't laughed this hard, this late, since you stopped the occasional visit to the weed man on the chance that you might have to drive that same wife to the hospital for the whole labour thing. Course, when you're in that state, everything's funny.

So the first gem, a nice poke (couldn't resist) at the sanctimonious right-winger's wet dream Ann Coulter, a one-shot blog called I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard is about as good a laugh as you're likely to get without the assistance of the afforementioned medication. Until you read the author's follow-up Back in Ann Coulter's Ass Saddle Again. Very funny, made funnier by how on point the guy's observations about the object of his cynicism are.

But the best laugh of the night you'd have would be from the Dog vs Roomba clip from stevenf's blog. The Benny Hill soundtrack is the kicker I think. Though I might find it so funny because the dog in the clip looks exactly like my sister Lisa's dog Rahea.

So now that's done with. What channel was that chatline on again?

Labels: funny, gaming

Now I know I don't normally come off as a materialistic person. Truth is, I don't care much for material things. Don't care what my car looks like, any old roof over my head will do, and my clothing style - well, let's just say it's a style all my own.

The few things that I have any real attachment to are my computer, my PS2, and my always growing book collection.

And of course, superwife, but getting possessive about those can o